


Scrimmage

by DhampirsDrinkEspresso



Series: Field Goal [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: 3 part series, AP Courses, Alcohol Abuse, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, American Football, Attempted Sexual Assault, Beating, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben Solo is a Mess, Ben Solo is a bully, Betrayal, Binge Drinking, Blackmail, Bullying, Character Death, Claims of Inappropriate Conduct, Cover Up, Crime Cover Up, Crimes Swept Under the Rug, Date Rape Drug/Roofies, Denial, Depression, Drowning, Drug Use, Emotional Manipulation, F/F, F/M, Falsified Staff-Student Relationship claims, Field Goal is Reylo HEA Endgame, First Kiss, Fist Fights, Football, Grief/Mourning, Growing Up Together, Guilt, Han and Leia are Absentee Parents, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, M/M, Manipulation, Multi, Not Sure Why I Keep Making Mitaka the Villain, Profanity, Rated High, Recreational Drug Use, Revenge, Scrimmage is NOT Reylo HEA, Scrimmage is Setting up their Rivalry, Self-Defense, Self-Hatred, Series is Reylo Endgame, Sexism, Sexual Assault, Slap on the Wrist Punishment, Survivor Guilt, Swearing, The Reylo is Subtext and Implication, These Tags Make the Whole Fic Sound Way Darker than I Intended, Threesome - F/F/M, Underage Drinking, anger issues, cursing, implied threesome, sex scandal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:47:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25098625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DhampirsDrinkEspresso/pseuds/DhampirsDrinkEspresso
Summary: Rey Erso-Andor was having the best year of her life. Then she met Ben Solo, the darling of Chandrila High. He's perfect. Unfortunately, he knows it.NOTE ON WARNINGS: I tagged as many things as I could think of, but most of what happens is mentioned or referred to and happens “off screen” to minor characters. Rey is gonna be fine, y’all (shaken up, definitely shaken up and panicky).
Relationships: Bazine Netal/Ben Solo, Bazine Netal/Kaydel Ko Connix, Ben Solo/Bazine Netal/Kaydel Ko Connix, Cassian Andor/Jyn Erso, Jessika Pava/Temmin "Snap" Wexley, Kaydel Ko Connix/Ben Solo, Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Field Goal [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1817779
Comments: 24
Kudos: 76
Collections: Reylo Hidden Gems





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> TW/CW for character death, homophobia, sexual assault and attempted assault, alcohol abuse, drug use, bullying. High school is hellish. Some of these things happen "off screen" and will only be referenced but they do happen.
> 
> Because apparently I need another modern AU now that Dinner Service is complete...
> 
> The series is Reylo endgame (SERIES as in the Trilogy, not this story), but they are both with other people here for the entirety of Scrimmage. If you don't like fics where Ben and Rey date other people this is not the one for you. This is PART 1 of a larger story that WILL end Reylo HEA. 
> 
> Playlist link available in the End Notes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey Erso-Andor's first school year in America is about to start. Helping her mother (the new school counselor) set up her office for the year gives Rey the chance to meet some of the student athletes. Some introductions go better than others.
> 
> _“Uh, twins?” Snap asked._
> 
> _“Yeah, Snap, don’t you know how twins work?” Poe said with a teasing grin. “Siblings with the same parents and birthday.”_
> 
> _Snap blinked. “Oh, yeah, of course.” He nodded uncomfortably._
> 
> _Rey was going to take pity on him, opening her mouth to explain that she and Finn were adopted, and the birthday thing was a coincidence, when Solo opened his mouth._
> 
> _“They’re adopted, moron. The new counselor’s rescue kids.”_

School wouldn’t start for another two weeks, but sports camps and marching band rehearsals were in full swing. The Chandrila High community took extracurriculars _very_ seriously.

Seriously enough to risk students getting heat stroke.

But no one had died _yet,_ and it had been years since anyone passed out or was hospitalized, so the school board and the parents congratulated themselves for having everything well in hand and started practices a day or two earlier every year, until athletes and band members were showing up to campus in the oppressive heat of early August.

Rey Erso-Andor wasn’t _technically_ in either of those groups—at least not yet. She _was_ , however, the daughter of the new school counselor and she and her brother (brother, how amazing was that?) Finn had been helping Mum ready her office for the year. It had given them an excuse to watch the various practices and find out which teams might still be looking for players, even though they’d all held tryouts at the end of the previous school year and again during the summer.

Rey was thinking of going out for football—no, _soccer_ —they were in America now (and in the South, where _American_ football was apparently some kind of fanatical cult-like religion).

The oppressive heat and humidity of the August afternoon had conspired to drive the heat index to a level even the staunchest of ‘fans’ agreed outdoor activities should be suspended for the day. Most of the marching band kids were already gone. The track and cross-country coaches had done the smart thing and scheduled their practices for early morning, so they were done before the heat of the day. The cheer and dance teams were in the school hallways (the gyms— _both_ of them—were off limits and supposedly not air conditioned, and she’d heard someone muttering a comment about not being allowed in because they might scuff the floors). Soccer and Tennis players were walking in small groups to the student parking area. Even most of the football team was gone.

Most.

Poe Dameron was still on the field with a few other boys, joking around and taking turns kicking field goals. They seemed to have some kind of bet going, based on the comments they were barking at one another. They’d stripped off their heavy pads and helmets, leaving them in little piles around the edge of the field, and Poe was shirtless.

Which was exactly why Finn had dragged her over to the stadium instead of the blessedly cool air-conditioned space of the library or Mum’s office. She suspected her brother might have a bit of a crush. That and Dad’s interest in the sport in general had resulted in Rey learning at least a little about it just from the constant conversations at home. Dad was teaching World History at Coruscant Central High and had been asked to take on an assistant coaching position with their team after someone had succumbed to an unexpected illness and wouldn’t be able to do it after all.

“Erso-Andors, hey!” Rey was pulled from her thoughts by Poe’s friendly voice. She looked up to find him waving them over. She sighed and followed Finn over, yelping in surprise when a very sweaty, shirtless Poe Dameron slung an arm over each of their shoulders and practically dragged them over to the small cluster of his teammates. “Guys, meet the Erso-Andor twins,” he said. “This is Finn and Rey. Twins, meet Snap Wexley, Ben Solo, and Dopheld Mitaka.” Snap Wexley and Dopheld Mitaka offered confused smiles and Ben Solo just snorted and glared from under the sweat-dampened fringe of his hair.

“Uh, twins?” Snap asked.

“Yeah, Snap, don’t you know how twins work?” Poe said with a teasing grin. “Siblings with the same parents and birthday.”

Snap blinked. “Oh, yeah, of course.” He nodded uncomfortably.

Rey was going to take pity on him, opening her mouth to explain that she and Finn were adopted, and the birthday thing was a coincidence, when Solo opened his mouth.

“They’re adopted, moron. The new counselor’s rescue kids.”

Poe’s grip on her tightened and Finn sputtered in indignation while Rey embraced her anger, preferring that over the old, lifelong ache of knowing her birth parents had abandoned her, like a pet in a cardboard box.

She jerked away from Poe’s hold, following as Solo stalked over towards the football on the little stand thing (she made a mental note to look up the proper name or ask Dad about it at home) and lined up for a kick. The shove caught him off guard, and he was sitting on the ground staring up at her as she spewed expletives and insults in multiple languages, starting with “Karking Arsehat” and becoming increasingly vehement as she cycled through Spanish, Gaelic, Welsh, and ended on something in French that had Finn gasping and the others looking confused.

Except for Solo.

Who replied back in perfectly accented French with something so vile Finn jerked away from Poe and stalked over as well, hands fisted at his sides, with Poe following and repeatedly asking what Ben had said.

For her part, Rey stepped back and glared at him, arms crossed. “You walk with your shoulders Solo. You should know better, especially as an athlete. It fucks up your center of balance, makes it easy to knock you down.” Then she turned, lined up for a kick, and ran forward a few steps before sending the football neatly sailing through the goal posts and beyond, the brown oblong disappearing into the woods on the other side of the fence. “I’ll be in Mum’s office,” she called to Finn, not looking back as she left the boys staring after her in varying degrees of shock, Snap mumbling something about records and Poe musing on what it would take to get Coach Pryde to let a girl on the team.

Solo was still on the ground when she reached the top of the stadium steps and disappeared beyond the bleachers, watching her go with narrowed eyes.

Rey didn’t cry until she was safely tucked away in the girls’ room on the opposite end of the building.

When she finally emerged, eyes red-rimmed and puffy, she wasn’t surprised to find Finn sitting patiently on the floor, leaning back against a row of lockers. She was surprised to find a freshly showered and still quite upset looking Poe Dameron waiting with him. She froze and gasped, ducking her head in an attempt to hide the very obvious signs of her tears as they stood up and stepped closer to her, Finn not hesitating to pull her into his arms. He didn’t speak, but then he didn’t need to. He’d understood her in a way no one else had from the moment they met (before their parents even started dating) and family therapy sessions had deepened their bond. A throat cleared nervously, and Rey glanced over Finn’s shoulder to see Poe shuffling his feet, that kicked puppy look still on his face.

“Ah, are you gonna be okay?”

She nodded, offering a weak smile.

“I’m sorry, Rey.”

“Poe, you didn’t do anything wrong. You’ve been nothing but nice to both of us since we moved here.”

“Still, Solo’s a dick but that was out of line even for him and I’m sorry I introduced you to him.”

Rey snorted, not disagreeing with Poe’s assessment of the taller boy.

“Do you, uh, you wanna go grab a burger or some ice cream or something? With me?”

She tensed, still in Finn’s arms, eyes darting from Poe to her brother. Finn just smiled at her and gave an almost imperceptible nod, physically turning her to face Poe and stepping away. “ _I_ think it’s an excellent idea,” Finn said, and he even sounded genuine.

She looked at him again, ready to protest that she just wanted to go home. “It’s okay, Rey. I uh, Poe and I were talking…you should go. It’s fine, really.”

“It doesn’t have to be anything other than friendly,” Poe said. “But I like you. I think we’d have fun together, and I think you could use some greasy American junk food. It heals the soul.” Poe gave her that grin of his, the charming smile that just seemed to suck everyone in and make them like him.

“I…okay, then. Why not?”

An afternoon with Poe Dameron was certainly entertaining. He was right about the food, and when he suggested the cinema afterwards, she agreed readily, texting her mum to let her know she’d be later than she had originally thought but still in time for dinner. They found a bargain matinee of one of the summer blockbusters with lots of explosions and almost no plot. Poe got Rey her very own bucket of popcorn, and he nudged her shoulder a couple of times but never tried anything more.

When he dropped her off, he even walked her to the door, one hand on her back at a respectably appropriate height.

“I…thank you, Poe. I had a nice time, and you were right, it was just the thing.”

“Do you, uh, would you maybe want to do it again, sometime?”

She bit her lip, glanced at the curtained living room window where she was pretty sure Finn was watching. Before she could answer her phone buzzed in her hand and she glanced at the tiny screen, laughing at the text message in all caps: SAY YES!!!

She looked back at Poe. “Maybe.”

“I’ll take that,” he said, leaning in to brush his lips over her cheek before returning to his truck. He waited to start the engine until she was safely inside, and Rey found herself musing that there might be something to this “Southern Gentleman” thing she’d heard about.

If possible, Finn was far more excited than Rey. “I can’t believe he kissed you!”

“On the cheek! It barely even counts.”

“Rey, just let me live vicariously, okay. My sister is dating a varsity football player. Do you understand what that will instantly do for our collective social status? In _this_ town? It may actually balance the fact the Mum works at the school.”

Rey stared at her brother in confusion. “Finn, I thought _you_ liked Poe.”

“Well, yeah, I mean, he’s cute. But he’s straight and I barely know him. We’re friends but it’s not going any farther and I am okay with that.”

By the time school started two weeks later, Rey was officially Poe Dameron’s girlfriend. Truthfully, it made her a little uncomfortable, hearing people refer to her that way, as if she weren’t her own person, but they didn’t seem to mean any harm. Her parents liked him well enough, and he was always considerate of Rey’s feelings and respectful of her boundaries, although he did push her to be a little more social, asking her to at least come to all the home football games and wanting her to attend the occasional party. She wanted to be supportive, and everyone seemed to genuinely like Poe which somehow was automatically transferred to her and (as he had predicted) in some small ways to Finn.

Her life would be perfect if not for one single, little, itty bitty thing. Okay, person. And not exactly little.

Ben Solo.

Both being on the football team, he and Poe ran in the same social circles, and he was always just… _there._

She’d learned more than she wanted to about him, mostly due to Poe’s constant stream of chatter (read: gossip) about everyone around him. Like Poe, Ben was a junior, and apparently was also the darling of Chandrila High. He was a sports star (yes, sports with an ‘s’ and co-captain of at least two of those teams, even though that was supposed to be reserved for seniors), captain of the speech and debate team (again, traditionally reserved for seniors), _active_ member of multiple clubs, and reportedly managed to maintain a 4.0 even though his schedule was loaded with Honors and Advanced Placement courses. The term ‘gifted’ was often applied to people like Ben Solo, and Rey had to grudgingly admit it was accurate.

He was also moody, judgmental, rude, and a bit of a bully.

Oh, he wasn’t blatant about it. No physical altercations, usually not even any outright insults. He was a master of double meaning and implication, and also _gifted_ at making innocent seeming remarks that cut to the core, and the worst part was that even if he did it in a room full of witnesses, anyone who reacted or tried to fight back suddenly appeared to be the instigator, attacking poor, perfect Ben Solo with no provocation.

Rey simply could not _stand_ his stupid face, and his stupid hair, and his stupid eyes the color of honeyed whiskey (no, sunlight through amber), and his stupid height (even taller than last year, per Poe), and his stupid ears that he’d apparently grown his hair out to cover, and his stupid shoulders that he was “finally growing into as he started to fill out a bit,” and…

Okay, maybe _some_ part of her found him attractive. _Objectively._ The way one might notice a flower or a butterfly or a particularly colorful beetle.

But she absolutely, positively, _did not like_ him.

The problem lay in the fact that he was “total package” attractive and he knew it. He seemed to enjoy provoking her, taking _any_ reaction whatsoever as a stroke to his ego.

It was her own fault.

She never should have stood up to him, that day on the football field. It had painted a target on her back.

Despite dating one of Ben’s teammates, she did manage to avoid him most of the first day of school. They had the same lunch period, but Poe made sure to guide her to the opposite end of the long table staked out by the football players and a few cheerleaders and other athletes without her needing to ask, and Solo pointedly ignored Rey’s presence.

It was in her last class of the day that luck ran out.

Rey had her science course immediately before her foreign language elective, and the Honors Chemistry lab was on the opposite end of the building from Latin I. Even running (which got her scolded by at least three different staff members) she barely made it into the classroom before the bell rang as she dropped into the only available seat.

Directly behind Ben Solo.

And then Mr. Ackbar announced that they better get comfortable in the seats they had chosen as those would be permanently assigned for at least the next nine weeks...the first quarter of the school year…an entire half of the semester. Rey couldn’t quite hold back a groan at that realization and Ben shifted in front of her, turning to smirk at her over his shoulder.

She fought back an almost overwhelming need to slap the expression off his face and turned her attention to the front of the class—what she could see of it. Most of her view was blocked by his mop of glossy, dark hair and the spread of his shoulders as he practically lounged in the far-too-small desk/chair combo. Shifting around to try and get comfortable in the confined space of her own seat, she wondered how he had even managed to sit down in the first place. He must have been practically _folded_.

Mr. Ackbar began taking roll, marking off names and taking a moment to enter them on the seating chart before continuing.

“Rey Andor?”

“ _Erso_ -Andor.”

“Pardon?”

“My last name, sir, it’s hyphenated. Erso-Andor.”

“Oh, yes, so I see. My apologies, Ms. Erso-Andor.” Mr. Ackbar paused, squinting in her general direction. She could just barely see him over Solo’s left shoulder. “Forgive me, but where the devil _are_ you?”

“Here, sir,” Rey called, stretching and waving a hand above Ben’s head.

“Ah, I see. Well, in consideration that class participation is twenty percent of your grade, Mr. Solo, please kindly switch seats with Ms. And—ah, Ms. Erso-Andor.”

And Ben Solo, sounding the very soul of innocence, said “I don’t know sir, I may not be able to see the projector screen if I move any farther back.”

For a moment Rey thought the teacher was going to fall for the act. Instead he emitted a short noise that might have been laughter and said, “I think you’ll be fine, Mr. Solo. Now, if you please?” Laughter erupted around the room and Ben grinned, proud of himself as he unfolded himself from his seat and stepped away, gesturing for Rey to take the front desk. She couldn’t stop the flush creeping up her neck and face at the unnecessary attention from the entire class, but she glared and claimed the desk with a brief nod of acknowledgement.

Unfortunately, this new seating arrangement proved to be even more uncomfortable for Rey. Every time the behemoth behind her moved, her own desk jumped. His feet sprawled out to either side of her desk, no place for them under or in front of his desk now that he didn’t have the front seat. At least three different times he _accidentally_ smacked into her backside or hip with his knees. Worst of all, his pen _rattled_ when he wrote, and when he wasn’t writing he was constantly clicking the retraction mechanism.

Within fifteen minutes her head was pounding.

Mr. Ackbar distributed textbooks, instructing the class to ensure their names were neatly written on the inside cover, as if they hadn’t all been doing so in every class. As Rey looped the ‘y’ in her first name, she heard the dreaded rattling behind her again, followed by a muffled “Piece of shit,” before the rattling got louder, now accompanied by a squeaking sound.

She told herself it was purely self-preservation as she dug into her bag for an extra black gel pen, also retractable but far quieter than the one he had been using, and held it back over her shoulder. He didn’t take it and she turned in her seat, finding him staring at her in shock. “Take it, please.” He blinked once and nodded, reaching out. The pen, one of the larger ones she had, looked comically small in his hand.

“Ah, thanks.” He quickly wrote his name, surprisingly neatly, and tried to hand it back.

“You can keep it, as long as you promise to get rid of that God-forsaken, migraine inducing peasant stick you were using earlier.” His lips twitched as she turned back around, attention back on Mr. Ackbar as he turned on the projector and began droning on about what they would be focusing on over the course of the semester. It was slightly easier to ignore the soft clicking coming from just behind her right ear.

After class she found Poe and Finn waiting in the hallway. Poe’s arm slipped around her shoulders as he turned to walk her to her locker to drop off her books before practice. Despite the occasional overlap between practices and meets or games, Rey had managed to get a spot on the Cross Country team as well as the Varsity Women’s Soccer team (rare but not impossible for a sophomore, she had been told). Finn had places on both the Cross Country and Track teams. Their practices were directly after school, with Soccer and Football happening later in the evening.

“So, you survived the first day, including an entire class with Solo,” Poe commented as they walked.

Rey sighed. “Yeah, so far.”

“What’s wrong? What did he do?”

“Nothing, really, just…we have assigned seats and he’s going to be behind me for at least the next nine weeks.”

“Ah, been there. I sat in front of him in Honors Geometry, freshman year. Every time he moved my desk jumped, and he’s gotten taller since then.”

“Come on, if we hurry there might be time to grab a smoothie before you have to be at practice.” She thought about refusing, knowing she would barely have time to change as it was, but that did sound good and it was still unspeakably hot…still, not the best plan before running. “Although, come to think of it, maybe not the best plan before Cross Country practice, I guess,” Poe continued. “Raincheck?”

“Sounds like an excellent plan!”

Poe dropped a kiss on her cheek and gave Finn that weird, friendly shoulder punch as Rey and her brother peeled off to head for the locker rooms.

Rey paused just outside the entrance to the girls’ locker room, grappling with the strap of the gym bag which was slipping down her shoulder. A sound at the end of the hall drew her attention and she glanced up in time to see Ben Solo throw an arm around Bazine Netal, one of the Varsity Cheerleaders. She froze for a moment, surprised and unsure why at first until she realized he was smiling. The sound she’d heard had been laughter—Ben Solo’s laughter—and now he was _smiling_. It transformed his entire face. Her bag slipped again, and she grabbed at it, shaking her head at herself and hurrying into the locker room, face burning and unsure exactly why she was embarrassed.

Bazine wandered in and spun the dial on a locker across from where Rey was changing. As she dug in her bag for her practice shirt, Rey vaguely noticed the room had gone quiet and Bazine was moving stiffly as whispers came from around the edge of the next row of lockers.

“She’s here, cover up!” someone hissed before being shushed by another low whisper.

“I can hear you, bitches,” Bazine said, loudly, hands fisted at her side as she stood with her back to Rey. “Just because I have a girlfriend doesn’t mean I have _any_ interest in y’all.”

Rey was shocked. Not really at Bazine having a girlfriend (well, maybe a bit considering how she’d just been acting in the hallway with Solo) but at the attitudes and reactions of the others in the room.

Bazine turned, arching a brow at Rey. “Shocked?”

“No…not really. Who you date is your business,” Rey said calmly, tugging her shirt off over her head and digging through her bag for her sports bra, not at all concerned for her virtue (an actual phrase she’d heard uttered from farther into the locker room). Somehow, she had missed the stretchy fabric when pulling out the rest of her practice clothes. She thought it was unnecessary but had been informed it was required. “Although…never mind, again none of my business.”

“You saw me in the hall with Solo,” Bazine shrewdly observed before leaning closer and adding in a conspiratorial stage whisper, “Maybe I’m dating _him,_ too.” There was a loud noise from behind the wall of lockers and Rey rolled her eyes before she finished changing. When she sat down to do up the laces on her trainers, Bazine leaned back against her locker, arms casually crossed under her chest. “You’re the new counselor’s daughter, right? The one dating Poe Dameron?”

Rey nodded, sticking out a hand in greeting. “Rey Erso-Andor.” Bazine grinned and took her hand, gripping lightly as they shook.

“Bazine Netal.”

Rey returned her smile as she tied her other shoe. “See you around, yeah?” she said as she slammed her gym locker and spun the dial then headed for the door.

“Prob’ly,” Bazine called after her with a laugh.

On Wednesday, one of the math teachers had to leave during lunch due to an unexpected emergency and there were no substitutes available for at least an hour, so her Honors Trigonometry class was divided amongst the nearby classrooms. Of _course,_ it was Rey’s Honors Algebra II class that Ben Solo was parceled out to. On the bright side, Bazine was apparently in the same class and she walked in right behind him. Mr. Antilles passed out worksheets and instructed everyone to get into groups of three and work together, before sitting down at his desk and turning his attention to his newspaper.

Bazine immediately scooted the desk she had claimed over by Rey, Ben following with a put-upon sigh. Bazine looked down at the worksheet and wrinkled her nose. “Hey, I remember this…I think.”

“Well you did _barely_ pass this class last year so I assume you must have learned _something._ ”

“I know it’s difficult, but don’t be a dick, Solo,” she said, not looking up from her paper as she scribbled something than stared at it a moment before erasing everything she had written. Rey snorted, unable to stop herself. “See,” Bazine continued, “She knows.” She then proceeded to ignore him for ten minutes while scooting closer to Rey and working through the first half of the problems together. “Your brain must have a lot of wrinkles,” she said, smiling at Rey after they had completed ten of the twenty problems on the page.

“Jesus, Baz, really?” Ben huffed. “Again, with the brain wrinkles?”

“What? It’s a compliment. They say when you learn something it makes a wrinkle in your brain. I bet Rey here has at least as many as you.”

Rey laughed softly. Bazine was unlike anyone she had ever met, and Rey found her absolutely charming. She’d never really had any girl friends before (well, not many friends at all before she met Finn) but she had a feeling Bazine would be the first. The two of them continued their work, finishing the rest of the page quickly. When they were done, Ben grabbed Bazine’s paper, eyes scanning the page and widening as he reached the end. “They’re all right,” he commented, seeming surprised.

“See, I told you, brain wrinkles,” Bazine said, snatching the page back from him. They still had over twenty minutes of class. Ben pulled out a copy of Kate Chopin’s _The Awakening_ and plucked an index card from near the middle of the book.

“AP Language and Comp?” Rey asked, surprising herself.

He nodded, eyebrows raised as if he were impressed.

Truthfully, left to her own devices Rey normally would have done the same and made some more progress on Thomas Hardy’s _Tess of the D’Urbervilles_ , the book she was reading ahead for sophomore Honors English and Grammar. However, Bazine wanted to gossip (she was _almost_ as bad about that as Poe) and Rey found herself wanting to hear what Bazine had to say.

The remaining class time passed more quickly than Rey expected.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first football game of the school year is followed by the first party.
> 
> _“You’re coming to Ben’s, right?” Bazine asked, face fairly glowing, Rey assumed from endorphins and general excitement._
> 
> _Rey froze a moment, looking at her. “Ben’s?”_
> 
> _“Yeah, for the party? I’m sorry, I thought you and Poe…”_
> 
> _“I…oh, I guess I didn’t know where. Yes, I’m going with Poe.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those tags? Most apply to this chapter.

The first football game of the year (well, technically second, there had been a scrimmage the Friday before school began) was nearly rained out. Unfortunately, that simply meant that even after sundown the air was somehow thicker and more oppressive than it had been mid-afternoon, thanks to the increased humidity. Rey felt immediate regret over her decision to wear her tightest jeans instead of the shorts she’d originally chosen.

But there was a party after the game, and Poe had really wanted her to go with him, excited at the prospect of celebrating what was sure to be an easy win against East Bespin, and they did win in the end, but the muddy field, light haze from fog and low hanging clouds, and the surprising revelation that the star player from Mandalore Academy (state champions the last 3 years) had transferred to East Bespin had meant they had to _work_ for it.

Rey sat with Finn and a few other runners, in the bleachers between the section taped off for the marching band and the center section unofficially reserved for the booster clubs and school staff. The excitement was infectious, and she found herself cheering along with the rest of their side, even when Ben Solo made a phenomenal catch intercepting a pass and, thanks to his height (and ridiculously large hands) single-handedly turning the game in their favor (the actual phrasing used by the sportscaster at the local news station).

_Damn_ him.

Rey found herself waiting at the end of the hallway nearest the locker rooms with Bazine and a few other friends and significant others of players. “You’re coming to Ben’s, right?” Bazine asked, face fairly glowing, Rey assumed from endorphins and general excitement.

Rey froze a moment, looking at her. “Ben’s?”

“Yeah, for the party? I’m sorry, I thought you and Poe…”

“I…oh, I guess I didn’t know where. Yes, I’m going with Poe.”

“Awesome! You’ll get to meet Kaydel!”

“Is that your girlfriend?” Bazine grinned and nodded, and Rey understood where the glow was coming from. “She cheers for Central Coruscant, so she’ll probably be late.”

“Oh, my dad teaches there!”

“World History, right? Kay says he’s awesome. Best teacher there, hands down.” Bazine paused, a naughty gleam in her eye as she added, “And pretty cute, too.”

Rey made a face and Bazine laughed, a full throated, joyous sound.

“What’s got you so amused?” a deep voice asked. Rey jumped a little as Ben Solo seemed to appear from nowhere, dropping an arm around Bazine with a grin.

“Just catching up with my _friend_ here, some of us have those, you know.”

“Eh, what do I need other friends for, I have you.” He curled her into his chest and kissed the top of her head before glancing over to see which friend Bazine had been referring to, smile disappearing when he realized it was Rey. “Andor.”

“ _Erso_ -Andor,” Rey hissed.

He just smirked at her, no time for a comment before Poe rushed up behind Rey, wrapping both arms around her waist and kissing her cheek with a loud smack before picking her up. “We won, we won, party time,” Poe chanted, and he must have been dancing because Rey found herself bouncing around wildly in his arms.

“Poe, put me down!” She squirmed and he eased her back to the ground with a laugh.

“Ready to go?”

Rey nodded. “Is Finn riding with us?”

Bazine cut in before Rey could answer. “Oh, God, Dameron, are you seriously going to put a whole person in what passes for a back seat in that tiny truck?”

“What? It has a seatbelt and it’s not that far.”

“Finn can ride with us, right Benny?”

Rey was surprised he nodded his agreement without comment. Of course, it wasn’t like Bazine had volunteered him to drive _Rey._

The rest of the team was milling around in the hallway by then, and Rey could see Finn outside with Snap Wexley, his girlfriend Jessika Pava—choreographer for the dance team—and a few more people. “Let’s move!” Ben yelled, holding up a hand and gesturing to the doors, holding it open for Bazine and then looking expectantly at Rey. “You coming or not?” She blinked up at him, confused at why he was bothering to be polite before she shrugged and followed Bazine. Poe dashed through the door behind her and the rest of the team followed, cheering all the way to their cars. They formed a convoy, following behind Ben’s Jeep Wrangler, windows down as they yelled and incessantly honked their horns.

Rey was deeply regretting agreeing to this before they even got off campus.

The Solo home was nearly half an hour away, just before the county line and on the very edge of the Chandrila school district. It was also massive.

Well, the house itself was _large_ , but the property around it was sprawling. The line of cars had dwindled to about half the original number, most breaking off to head to the river, according to Poe. It was still more people than Rey was really comfortable around, but it meant a lot to Poe and she had to admit she was a little excited herself. The vehicles remaining in line behind them all followed Ben around the side of the house, parking fairly neatly in an open, grassy field.

The back yard was clearly designed for parties. There was an entire outdoor kitchen and fully stocked bar set up near a sparkling pool, lights blazing in what she assumed was a pool house (and based on what she could see through the glass paneled doors, a game room), and a cluster of picnic tables under a stand of huge old oak and maple trees. The lights around the yard and along the back of the house had the area as bright as mid-afternoon, even though it was well past sunset. Rey looked at the pool longingly and Poe followed her gaze. “Ah, shit, sorry, I should have told you to bring a suit.” He paused, giving her the grin that said he was going to say something inappropriate. “Of course, there’s no rule saying you _have_ to have one.” She just rolled her eyes, knowing even if he _were_ half-serious he wouldn’t ever push it. Poe grabbed her hands, walking backwards in the general direction of the pool deck. “Come on, let’s get a drink.”

Two hours later, Poe was drunk (along with most everyone else), Bazine was nowhere to be found (she and Kaydel had disappeared into the pool house shortly after the pretty blonde had arrived and been introduced to Rey), and now Rey had lost track of Finn as well. There were a few slightly less intoxicated people in and around the pool, and she vaguely recognized them as team members and their significant others. She asked the ones closest if they’d seen Finn, but most either didn’t seem to understand the question in their inebriated state or they just simply didn’t know who he was.

She thought she remembered him walking towards the woods with Snap and Jessika and a few other people, and when she really thought about it, she didn’t remember him coming back. There was a shuffling sound not too far away, and a branch or twig snapped as someone walked across it. Rey followed the sounds, hoping she’d get lucky and stumble across Finn, but when she stumbled into a small clearing, she didn’t find Finn. She _did_ however find Snap Wexley and Dopheld Mitaka, as well as a couple other guys from the team. “Have any of you seen my brother?”

Snap blinked at her and grinned. “Hey! Poe’s girl. I saw him. He’s taking a nap, by the pond,” he slurred.

“Come have a drink with us,” Mitaka called, standing from his perch on an old stump. Something about the way he was looking at her sent chills up her spine.

“No thanks,” Rey said, backing up a few steps, “I really need to find Finn.”

“Oh, now, don’t be that way. We’re all friends here.”

She _really_ didn’t like Mitaka’s tone. She took another step back, wanting to run but afraid to turn her back on him. Movement to her right proved to be one of the other guys creeping along the tree line. She did turn to run then, but her distraction had cost her and Mitaka grabbed her wrist, pulling her roughly to him. “You’re not being very friendly, Rey,” he hissed, snatching her other wrist. “I offered you a drink, just wanted to talk, get to know you better.”

“Hey, not cool Mikata…Mita…Mitak…not cool man, let her go!” Snap tried to stand up but whatever he’d paired with the alcohol (because he definitely wasn’t _just_ drunk) had really messed with him and he fell to the ground.

Rey gasped as Mitaka tried to push her back against the nearest tree, the other guy hovering nearby. “I just want a little kiss,” Mitaka muttered.

“Oh, is that all?” she said scathingly, struggling against his hold.

“Well, to start. 5 points for a kiss,” he muttered, “10 for third base.” He leaned in, a nasty look on his face. “Are you a virgin, Rey? Because that’s bonus points.” Rey went cold, an unnatural calm taking over as he leaned in to kiss her.

He screamed when she bit him, taking advantage of his momentary surprise to let the three years of self-defense classes she’d been taking since Mum adopted her take over, breaking free. She didn’t glance at the other guy, not wanting to make the same mistake again, and she _ran_ , crashing blindly through the trees until she burst into the brightly lit yard. She didn’t stop until she reached the pool house, every instinct screaming that she would be safer inside. She crashed into the main room, stumbling over someone’s shoes. She didn’t even try to stand back up, just crawled into the nearest corner, curling into a ball under a small side table, arms wrapped around her knees and face buried in them as she struggled to breathe. A door across the room opened, slamming back against the wall, and she whimpered as a very pissed off Ben Solo stood framed in the doorway, barefoot, bare-chested, and with his jeans unbuttoned and hanging low on his hips. Bazine popped out from behind him, wearing what Rey assumed was his shirt. She saw Rey first, shoving Ben out of the way to hurry across the room. “Oh my God! Rey! Are you okay? What happened, sweetie?” Bazine sat on the floor in front of her, but she didn’t touch Rey, or force her out from under the table, just stayed close.

Rey blinked and suddenly Ben and Kaydel (dressed in only a sports bra and her cheerleading skirt) were there with Bazine. She didn’t remember them moving. She was losing time, dissociating. “Points.” She said shakily. It was the only word she managed to get out.

“What? What about points?”

Rey closed her eyes, took a shaky breath, and tried again. “A kiss. 5 points. He said a kiss was worth five points.” She started sobbing again.

Bazine and Kaydel looked confused but Ben froze. His tone was low and dangerous when he spoke. One word. And the way he said it caused the hair on the back of her neck to stand on end.

“ _Who?”_

She swallowed once, hard. “Mitaka.” She was surprised he heard the name, she whispered it so low, shuddering as the sound escaped her.

Ben stormed to the door of the pool house, turning back once. “Don’t leave her alone,” he ordered before he left the building, Bazine and Kaydel both glaring back at him, insulted he would even suggest they would consider it.

“No shoes.”

“What, sweetie?”

Rey blinked at Bazine. “He didn’t put any shoes on.” For some reason, that made her laugh, and then she broke into sobs again, this time throwing herself into Bazine’s arms as she cried, Kaydel hovering nearby and patting her back as they both murmured soothing nonsense.

Bazine and Kaydel urged her to call the police, report Mitaka, but all Rey really wanted was to find Finn and go home. She was insistent and reasonably in control of herself again so they grudgingly relented, taking her to the room they had come out of so they could get properly dressed. Rey looked around curiously. It was a bedroom, larger than hers and Finn’s combined. She got the feeling it was Ben’s room, that he lived in the pool house rather than the main one. Bazine noticed her looking at all the clothes and belongings, and the desk in the corner piled high with papers and textbooks. “Ben’s lived out here since he was thirteen.”

Rey jerked in surprise. She hadn’t realized she was being quite so obvious.

“Everybody knows,” Kaydel said. “It’s like this big open secret, just like the fact that we party here on Friday nights unless his parents are having a _function_.”

Rey shrugged, uncomfortable with being in his room—his private space—and with having someone else telling her about his family drama. She was getting antsy again, the anxiety creeping back in at the need to find her brother and get to the safety of _home_.

In the end, Finn found _her_. He was holding his head, a knot on the back of his skull. Apparently Mitaka and the other guy had jumped him, left him unconscious in the grass behind the pool house when he caught them with Jessika, who had seemed pretty out of it.

Rey supposed she should have been surprised when Ben offered to drive them home, but she was just…numb. She curled into herself in the passenger side of his Jeep, the silence tense but not _exactly_ uncomfortable.

The _incident_ —that was how the few people who knew or head about it later referred to that night—an _incident_ —as if what had been happening were too ugly to talk about, rather than the truth.

In truth, the _incident_ was too ugly NOT to talk about it, and yet, somehow, she just couldn’t. Not with Poe. Not even with Finn. Certainly not with Mum and Dad.

Bazine and Kaydel had come over on Saturday and managed to get her to open up a bit, just enough to confirm that she got away before Mitaka could _do_ anything more than try to kiss her.

Seeing the scabs and bruises on Ben Solo’s knuckles Monday was the start of a tense, uneasy truce between them. He’d broken Mitaka’s nose…and three of his fingers.

Some part of Rey couldn’t help wishing it had been more.

Jessika didn’t come back to school that week.

Rey didn’t go to Friday’s game.

Ben Solo didn’t have another party. _Ever._

Unfortunately, Mitaka _did_ come back to school once his bruises had cleared a bit, telling everyone he’d been in an accident. It was clear most people didn’t believe him, but no one would speak up.

Then he caught Rey in the hallway after school one day, alone. Cross country practice had been cancelled due to heavy rainfall and she had gone back to her locker to retrieve a book. She didn’t see him until he came around the corner, crowding her against her locker and grabbing her upper arm and hissing threats at her about what he would do if she told anyone. She stood, frozen, eyes wide as she panted for breath.

“Do I need to break something else, Mitaka?”

NEVER in her life would she have believed she would be so relieved to hear Ben Solo’s voice in _that_ tone again. Mitaka let her go and took a single step back. “No need to get violent, Solo. Rey and I were just talking about how much _fun_ we had at your party. You know, the one you hosted, with all the great _refreshments_?”

Something changed in the way Ben was standing, some new tension like he was holding himself back. She’d only known him a few weeks, and he was a bully sometimes, but she thought he preferred words over fists to get his point across.

Mitaka must have noticed the change too, because a new wariness came over him, like a predator that had realized there was something larger and meaner than him sizing him up as potential prey. He glanced at Rey again, something in his eyes making her shiver as he walked away.

“You okay?”

Rey took a shaky breath, giving Ben a nod. Books, she needed her books. She bent and grabbed at her bag on the floor where she’d dropped it when Mitaka appeared and fumbled at the combination lock in front of her.

“Rey?”

He was closer. Too close. Behind her. She yelped and jumped a little, losing her balance and landing hard on her rear.

“Shit!” She noted idly that, like most of the locals, he drew the word out to two syllables. She-it. Oh, he was still talking. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I should have known better. I didn’t mean to scare you.” She turned her head. She was still nearby but not really crowding her anymore. He held out a hand to help her stand, almost pulling her up by himself with little effort on her part. She wasn’t sure she liked him being nice to her. It wasn’t normal, and she thought it might be out of pity.

“What are you doing here, Solo?”

“Um, I go to school here?”

“Very funny. You know what I mean?”

“Why are you angry with _me_ now?”

“I don’t need your pity. I’ve had enough of that in my life. Rescue kid and all that, remember?”

He jerked as if she’d punched him as she threw his own words back at him. She walked away without letting him answer, unsure herself why she was directing her anger at him.

He caught up to her before she got to the open area near the library, where the classroom hallways all let out.

“Rey! Rey, wait, please!”

It was the please that did it. It sounded sincere and she was genuinely shocked for a moment that he said it.

“First, I’m sorry, that was a shitty thing to say and I never should have done it. I’ve regretted it ever since and I should have apologized.” She nodded but didn’t speak, waiting for him to continue. “And I was looking for you, because I…was hoping maybe you’d join the debate team, or maybe one of the academic competition teams?” He seemed almost hesitant and she took a moment to look at him, _really_ look at him. Was Ben Solo showing vulnerability? To _her_? _Why?_

“Why?”

He rolled his eyes then, arrogant set returning to his shoulders as they started walking again, crossing the lobby in front of the main office and attendance office and continuing past the cafeteria toward the exits for student parking. This was the Ben Solo she was used to…although she was starting to think maybe it was just a very good mask.

“Because, _Andor_ , you’re one of the few non-idiots who’s ever been able to come back at me with a well thought out, logical argument.”

“Ben Solo, that was almost a compliment.”

“Oh, no, never that. I don’t do that,” he deadpanned.

“I’ll think about it,” she said.

“Thursday, 2:45 in the library.”

She paused, looking up at him. “Awfully sure of yourself, there, Solo.”

“I _am_ Ben Solo,” he said with a cocky grin.

Rey didn’t bother biting back a small grin of her own that time. She also didn’t resist the impulse to bump him with her shoulder, full body weight behind it so that he stumbled. “Center of balance, Solo,” she called out as she headed out of the building to meet Poe. “Stop leading with your shoulders when you walk.”

“What are you so happy about?” Poe questioned as she approached where he was leaning against his truck.

She shook her head, not sure exactly what answer to offer him. “Just nice to have some down time for once, I guess,” she said instead. Poe gave her a look but accepted her answer.

“So, burgers or pizza?” Poe asked as he started the truck.

“Hm…I think, ice cream?”

“Woman, I’m a growing boy, I need meat!”

Rey giggled. It was easy being around Poe. He was just fun. “So, burgers then,” she said, “BUT, you don’t get to complain when I have a milkshake AND a sundae.”

“Deal.”

Things went swimmingly, until Poe asked permission ( _Asked! Her! Permission!_ ) to kiss her. She agreed without hesitation. She _wanted_ this, wanted her first _real_ kiss from her first boyfriend. But then he leaned in, and his lips got close, and suddenly she was backed against a tree again with Mitaka coming at her and she panicked, jerking away with a yelp and swatting at him until he backed away.

“Rey, what is it? What’s wrong?” Poe sounded panicked himself. She just shook her head, panting for breath as her heart raced and Poe, sweet, wonderful, respectful Poe, waited.

“Sorry,” she whispered, “I’m so sorry.”

“Why are you sorry, Rey? You didn’t do anything wrong, other than, I guess, telling me I could kiss you when you clearly don’t want that.”

“No! Poe that’s not it! I did want you to kiss me. I _do._ Just…I panicked.”

Poe stared out the windshield, both hands clenching on the stereo. “I’m not an idiot, Rey, and I thought you just needed time but…” he took a breath and turned to face her. “Are you ever going to tell me what happened at Solo’s party? Because I know _something_ did, you’ve been acting off ever since. And I’ve heard about…about Jess…did…are you…Rey, what…”

If he’d been angry, or overly calm, or demanding, she would have been fine, been able to deny that anything was wrong. But he sounded so _hurt_ and somehow that did it, that opened the floodgates. She sobbed brokenly, gasping for breath and pausing every few words but once she started talking the words just poured out of her, faster and faster, until she wasn’t even pausing for breath so she could just get the words _out_.

“Jesus, Rey, I’m sorry. I never should have pushed you to go, and I shouldn’t have been drinking when you did. I should have been _with_ you, kept you safe, something…”

Poe rubbed a hand over his face, whispering almost to himself, “I didn’t know they’d started that shit up again,” before he turned to her, face set in resolve. “You need to report this, to the police, the school board, or at least your parents.”

He was right, she knew he was right. She’d known she wouldn’t be able to go on pretending forever. She’d been lucky, but she still needed to report it.

Poe offered to stay with her, when she told her parents what happened the night of the party, but she needed to do it for herself. She did ask him to try kissing her again, and that went…far better than their first attempt.

It was nice. None of that toe-curling, foot-popping, butterflies in the stomach nonsense. Just…nice.

Her parents called the Sheriff as soon as she told them. Rey gave her statement, telling her story over and over again, feeling increasingly sick and weary every time.

“And that’s all you remember?”

She looked at the deputy again, blinking at him. Why was he asking her that way? In that tone? “Yes, that’s all I remember. I…I guess I was in shock. I lost time after, a few minutes here and there.”

The man nodded.

“Okay, one more thing, tell me again about the points.”

The scandal broke early Thursday morning. Three “anonymous” complaints had been registered with the school administration, school board, and sheriff’s department that Coach Pryde and several other “athletic advisors” had assigned points values to various sex acts and assigned a few athletes a “girl of the week” to pursue, as a “team building exercise.”

Rey had been one of the girls. Jessika Pava, another.

What seemed like half the coaching staff was dismissed and charged with various crimes. There was talk of suspending all team sports.

The backlash was fast and furious, and the school board and district attorney’s office suggested a “compromise” that basically excused the whole thing, swept it under the rug. And sadly enough, it _worked_. The adults and one or two players who were 18 were given a slap on the wrist. The rest of the students involved were ordered to counseling, the claim being that they had been “manipulated by persons in authority over them.”

Three weeks later, the local paper ran a sensationalized (and completely false) story claiming that the entire thing was made up as “revenge” by Rey’s own mother. She was accused of inappropriate conduct with a minor student. It should have been easy to disprove. Mitaka was claiming Mrs. Jyn Erso-Andor propositioned him in her office after school. He made the mistake of claiming it was at the exact time he had been accosting Rey at her locker.

When Ben caught him.

Ben Solo, who could have simply corroborated Rey’s statement.

But he didn’t.

He claimed he hadn’t even been there at the time.

And she didn’t know why.

The claims were eventually disproven anyway, and Jyn was offered a settlement by the school district, but the damage had been done. Her reputation had been smeared too badly.

Coach Pryde was able to return to teaching (albeit at a private academy), and Jyn Erso-Andor AND her children were practically chased out of Chandrila.

And it was all Ben fucking Solo’s fault.

Rey absolutely _hated_ him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the fallout of the _incident_ , Finn and Rey change schools and life goes on. But Rey still hates Ben Solo.
> 
> _“Order out a lot, do you?”_
> 
> _He shrugged, dropping onto the opposite end of the sofa from Poe. “Cooking for one is boring and more trouble than it’s worth.”_
> 
> Cooking for one is boring.
> 
> _That was…a little sad, actually. He was sixteen. He should be living in the main house and having family dinners prepared by actual adults, eating in what she assumed was an over the top formal dining room._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there are some time jumps in this chapter to get to the end of the school year. I have entered a tentative chapter count of 4, although it COULD stretch to 5. It depends on how massive the next chapter turns out to be.

Rey felt more at home at Central Coruscant High than she ever had at Chandrila, even before all the bad things happened.

She and Finn had transferred less than half way through the semester, but they were left scrambling to catch up because unlike Chandrila which had 7 class periods each day, with the same classes all year long, Coruscant was on a block schedule with 4 ninety minute classes per day, and an entire course completed by the end of the semester. Unfortunately, this meant that they had essentially missed nearly half of each class.

Allowances were made because of their circumstances, and most of the teachers were genuine in their desire to help. Honors World History was easy, considering their dad was one of two teachers who covered the subject. The school board and state department of education allowed them to test out of the subject (something that supposedly had not ever happened before) and Rey was able to get her Honors English and World Literature class back into her schedule. Her Honors Chemistry and Honors Algebra II classes sort of went hand in hand and Rey had always been good with straightforward, linear equations. The Latin teacher was more hesitant, but Rey had a knack for languages (courtesy of multiple foster homes before she had been adopted) and was fluent in French and Spanish, could “get by” in Italian, and had picked up a few colorful phrases in multiple other languages and dialects (as she had demonstrated the day she met Ben bloody Solo). She managed to catch up quickly enough there as well, especially as that was one of the classes she shared with Kaydel.

Getting a place on any sport teams so late in the year hadn’t been so easy. Rey did eventually get a spot as alternate on the soccer team. Cross country (and track for Finn) allowed for them to participate but not compete until the next year.

As far as Rey was concerned, that was yet another thing Ben Solo had taken from her.

She missed seeing Poe and Bazine every day, but that was all she missed.

Kaydel was in most of her classes, and the two had quickly grown close, although Rey tensed every time Kay mentioned anything to do with Ben. She tried to avoid that particular topic for Rey’s sake, but he _was_ her girlfriend’s boyfriend (both Kaydel and Bazine were very clear about that: Bazine had a girlfriend and a boyfriend, Kaydel had a girlfriend who had a boyfriend, and Ben had a girlfriend who also had a girlfriend) and he was bound to come up in conversation sometimes.

Rey had almost broken up with Poe when she found out he was still hanging out with Ben. Well, she had in fact, for a few weeks, but Finn convinced her she was _maybe_ overreacting and let slip that Ben had made the first of the anonymous complaints against Coach Pryde by calling the county sheriff—Ben’s own _uncle._ “I’m just saying,” Finn insisted, “Maybe there’s a reason he couldn’t say anything. You didn’t exactly give him a chance to explain.”

And she hadn’t.

Her reaction and behavior when he refused to speak up in defense of her mother, while understandable to a point, had definitely been out of line when she physically attacked him. She was still embarrassed about that part, and ashamed. She’d been a bit of a wildcat, flying at him, and he’d just stood there and taken it. Poe had physically dragged her away. It was the last time she’d set eyes on Ben Solo. Bleeding from the corner of his mouth where her fist had caught him.

At the time Rey had felt a fierce sort of satisfaction, but any time she had thought of it since, she was flooded by an overwhelming need to apologize.

To Ben Solo.

The reason her mother hadn’t been immediately cleared of the disgusting things Mitaka had claimed about her.

But it _would_ be the right thing to do…eventually.

After the drama of the first few weeks of school, the rest of the semester seemed to fly by, and suddenly the holiday season loomed near, just behind final exams (another disadvantage of the block scheduling—both midterms and finals happened twice a year). But Rey’s schedule for the spring semester was set and she was excited to have the chance to get ahead a bit. She wasn’t looking forward to having to complete a “gym” credit the next semester—that was ninety minutes per day that she could be using for an art or academic subject. At least she’d been able to select Honors Physics as one of her elective courses, along with Latin II, and would be able to take AP English Language and Composition, even though that was technically supposed to be reserved for next year.

Central Coruscant was part of a pilot program within the county to test the viability of AP classes taught within each individual school rather than a central campus where students from the entire county attended half a day, with the other half at their “home” school campuses. Honestly, Rey preferred the current method, where all the resources were centralized and the students were all there for the same reason, but for the sake of accessibility alone it wasn’t a terrible plan.

She shook her head, distracted again by the possibilities of the future when she was supposed to be studying to pass her exams so she _could_ take all those classes next semester, instead of repeating any of her current ones.

Finn flopped dramatically onto the foot of her bed, scattering some of her notes to the floor. “Oops, sorry, sis.”

Rey sighed. Clearly, she needed a break with the way she kept getting distracted. “It’s fine…I’m not accomplishing much anyway.”

“Rey, it’s Friday night. Finals aren’t starting until Tuesday, and you’re brilliant. Why are you even studying so hard?” She shrugged, not sure she’d be able to articulate the particular need to strive for perfection, for approval.

It was an issue the family therapist wanted her to work on, but it was just so deeply ingrained in her…she was harder on herself than she should be. She knew it logically, but logic wasn’t always the driving force.

She rubbed her eyes and looked at Finn. “Film and junk food?”

“You read my mind.”

Both Rey and Finn passed finals with high marks, breaking the curve in the classes that used one. They went out for a family dinner to celebrate on the first night of the holiday break, ending with a massive dessert with four spoons.

A week later, things _changed_ for the Erso-Andor household in the form of Jyn’s recently orphaned godson, Armitage Hux. Finn took an immediate dislike to him, and Rey wasn’t exactly impressed with him. Still, he was family now, and hurting, and she suspected he used his mask of icy reserve as a shield.

In an attempt to make him feel included, Rey agreed when Poe asked her to accompany him to a party at the riverfront, on the condition that Finn and Hux be invited as well. Poe had shrugged and said the more the merrier.

He failed to mention it was a football party.

The season was over, and there was some crossover between players for football and basketball, but it was definitely a _football_ party.

It was also _freezing_.

There were a few barrels positioned near the waterfront with fires going, but the breeze blowing across the water made them ineffective at best. Rey huddled into the woolen cocoon of Poe’s letter jacket and looked apprehensively at the small groups of people peppered about on the shore. The sound of a vehicle approaching caught her attention, and she glanced up in time to see Bazine and Kaydel climbing out of Solo’s Jeep. They spotted Rey immediately and squealed as they ran closer, the dark-haired devil himself following them at a leisurely pace.

Kaydel huddled in next to Rey, chattering excitedly, and Bazine shuffled in as close to Kaydel as she could get, whining that her legs were cold. Rey and Kaydel didn’t hesitate to point out that if she’d dressed sensibly rather than in a short skirt, she wouldn’t be quite as miserable.

Hux wandered over, probably the best equipped for the weather in a long black trench coat of wool and (Rey knew for a fact) at least 2 jumpers and a crisp, white button down layered beneath it. It was interesting, seeing Hux and Ben size one another up as Ben came to stand behind Bazine, blocking the worst of the wind from getting to her.

“This is Armitage Hux, my…what did we decide, again?” Rey asked sweetly, enjoying the annoyed twitch that crossed his already pinched face.

“ _Cousin_ ,” he hissed at her. “At _your_ insistence, I might add.”

Rey just flashed him a vibrant smile and turned back to her friends. “Right, my honorary cousin. He just moved in with us and will be starting at Central in January.” He sniffed, unnecessarily adjusting the cuff of his shirt beneath his coat sleeve. “He’s used to posh boarding schools so the adjustment should be amusing for the rest of us.” He cut his eyes at her then, almost seeming impressed.

“ _Hugs_ ,” she said, stressing the nickname Poe had bestowed upon him (much to Hux’s chagrin), “these are my friends Bazine and Kaydel,” she said, pointedly ignoring and skipping over Ben, who for his part seemed content to ignore her as well.

Someone eventually dug a fire-pit by the water, building and lighting a blazing bonfire, and they moved closer, seeking the warmth radiating from it. There was a radio playing nearby, possibly in someone’s car, and eventually a few people started dancing. Unfortunately they were also drinking, and some people were definitely on more than alcohol (something that had apparently always been banned at Ben’s parties). That led to an utter lack of coordination resulting in Kaydel being shoved into the icy water. Poe was the closest non-intoxicated person to her and he didn’t hesitate to go in after her. Kaydel was a lifeguard but the water was numbingly cold, and the shock apparently kept her from doing what she needed to get herself out. Ben was in the water just after Poe, and then all three of them were on the shore, violently shaking and looking a little blue in the light available.

Hux snapped into action, talking about core temperatures and hypothermia and exposure and ordering them to strip. “Aw, Hugs…if you…w-wanted to g-get me naked…there are eas—eas—easier ways,” Poe stuttered out through the clacking of his chattering teeth. Finn appeared from behind them with an armful of blankets out of someone’s car.

Ben and Poe managed passably well, but Kaydel seemed to be having trouble making her fingers work. “Rey, will you help me?” Bazine asked her, already trying to work the buttons on Kaydel’s shirt. Hux ushered Poe and Ben to the bonfire, glaring at people to make them move, no words necessary. Finn was holding the final blanket up, attempting to block Kaydel from view as Rey and Bazine struggled to strip her wet clothing off. Hux walked back, unbuttoning the trench coat with his eyes averted.

“Rey?” he said expectantly from behind Finn, slipping his coat off and impatiently holding it out to her. “Put this on her, under the blanket.” She blinked at him a moment before taking it with a nod, returning to the blonde and helping Bazine slide the sleeves up her arms. The coat dwarfed her, hanging to her ankles and the sleeves draping down past her fingers, but she hissed and then sighed as the heavy fabric settled over her, still warm from his body heat.

“Can you walk, dear heart?” Kaydel didn’t answer but she did try to take a step, nearly falling in the process. Hux nodded to himself once, then stepped forward, holding out his arms. “If I may?” Kaydel nodded her assent and he swept her up, bridal carrying her to the bonfire, where he brusquely ordered Poe and Ben to hold her in between them. “Now,” he said, turning to Rey again, “I don’t suppose anyone has a way to contact emergency services?”

“No signal here, even if you do have a phone,” Bazine said.

“Of course not,” he muttered, turning to look at the remaining cars parked along the side of the road. Most of the sober drivers had started herding their friends away as soon as Kaydel hit the water, and as one final car started and pulled away, Rey realized it was just the 7 of them left standing there. “I don’t suppose you lot can drive?”

“I can, I just don’t like to,” Bazine said.

At the same time, Finn snorted and gave Rey a look before muttering, “Not legally.”

“Right then,” Hux said, “I suggest we find the nearest warm, indoor option and go there before we all have hypothermia.”

“Ben’s house is the closest,” Bazine said, and Rey had to admit that no matter how much she may dislike the idea, it made sense to go there, at least until they could be sure Poe, Kaydel, and Ben didn’t need medical intervention.

After a brief discussion, Ben and Poe were squished into the back seat of Ben’s Jeep, Kaydel on Ben’s lap with her feet on Poe’s, despite Rey’s protests about safety (she was overruled when Hux, Ben, and Bazine all argued that keeping Kaydel warm was more important at the moment). Rey grudgingly climbed into the passenger seat and Bazine drove, all of them wincing at the initial grinding of gears. “Jesus, Baz,” Ben grumbled from the cramped back seat.

“Sorry, sorry, won’t happen again,” she said as she pulled onto the road, Poe muttering that they should have let Rey drive. If Ben had a comment on that she didn’t hear it.

Hux and Finn extinguished the fires before leaving, since everyone else had run off at the first sign of trouble, and then they followed in Poe’s truck a few minutes later.

When Hux and Finn arrived, Kaydel was in the shower and Ben had taken Poe into the main house so neither of them had to wait for a turn. Finn and Rey sat on the large, black leather sofa at one end of the pool house, near a gas fireplace and entertainment center with a TV nearly the size of the projector screens at school. Hux was wandering around, taking everything in with an impassive expression. He’d stripped off the hoodie he’d layered on, leaving him in the button up and soft gray woolen jumper. “You, ah, you handled things admirably, tonight,” Rey said. “I’m sorry we dragged you into that mess but very glad you were there.”

He looked up, surprise flitting across his face for a moment before he regained control, calm and collected once again. “Yes, well, simple survival skills, really.”

“You were in a military academy, weren’t you?”

He winced. “Not by my choice, I assure you,” he said softly, turning to study the opposite wall.

Oh. Right. His father had been a military man, a career officer, and they hadn’t gotten along.

The bedroom door opened and Bazine stuck here head out. “Rey, can you grab some extra blankets? They’re in that closet there,” she said, pointing to a door near the end of the sofa. Rey nodded, opening the door and finding a walk in closet large enough she would have called it a storage room. Pool towels and extra swimsuits in various styles and sizes lined the shelves to the immediate left of the door, along with about half a dozen fluffy white bath robes. There was a break in the shelves for two hanging racks filled with jackets and coats, a row of shoes and boots lined neatly below them. Along the back wall, boxes of board games and jigsaw puzzles were neatly stacked by age range, titles like Candyland and Chutes and Ladders on the bottom, Monopoly, Sorry, Life and several other family games on the middle shelves, and adult party games on the top. With the exception of the children’s games on the bottom, most seemed like they had rarely if ever been opened. She turned, finally finding blankets and other assorted linens on the shelves along the right wall, and she grabbed at a stack of two or three that looked like they would be warmest.

Kaydel was tucked into Ben’s bed and Bazine spread the extra blankets over her, fussing at the fabric and pausing to softly kiss the blonde girl every few moments. Rey felt like an intruder.

“Baz, I’m fine, really. You’re overreacting. I’m not even shivering anymore.”

“I just…I was so scared, Kay.”

“I know, sweetie, I know,” Kaydel said, placing her hands gently on either side of Bazine’s face. She glanced at Rey over Bazine’s shoulder as the brunette began to cry, a silent plea for help in Kaydel’s eyes. Rey stood frozen for a moment, unsure what she could do, but she took a breath and walked over, sitting on the edge of the mattress beside Bazine as Kaydel struggled to sit up, dislodging the blankets from around her shoulders. Kaydel held her crying girlfriend while Rey rubbed her back, flashing back to the way the pair had comforted her the night of the party.

Eventually, Bazine fell asleep, her head in Kaydel’s lap as Kay stroked her hair. “She has a phobia, about water, about drowning,” Kaydel whispered. “It…something happened, when she was little, a kid at the local pool one summer. She saw it and it stuck with her. God, she must have been terrified when I fell!”

“She was,” Rey agreed, staring down at her sleeping friend. Bazine always seemed so tough and no-nonsense, as if nothing could shake her, but the way she cared for other people ran so deep. It actually made a strange kind of sense that she dated two different people, as if there were too much love inside her for just one.

There was a sound behind her, and the door opened. Rey turned to see Ben standing there, frozen in the doorway at the sight of the three girls huddled on his bed. Well, the sight of Rey having the nerve to be in his room, more likely. “I should go,” she said softly to Kaydel, “I’m so glad you’re okay. You had us all scared for a bit, there.” She hugged Kaydel and turned for the door, Ben watching her as she approached and slipped past him. She heard the door close softly behind her as she stepped into the game room.

Finn, Hux—Armitage, she should start calling him Armitage, and Poe lounged on the sofa at the far end of the room. Poe was dressed in sweats that clearly belonged to Ben, the legs rolled up at the bottom and the sleeves on the hoodie a little past his fingers. She grinned. It was…kind of adorable. Poe caught her expression and grinned back. “Thought I’d play dress up,” he said. She laughed.

“Should we be going?”

“Solo ordered pizzas. We should eat first,” Poe said, knowing Rey might be more likely to stay if food was involved.

“Do they even deliver this far out?”

“They do if you pay enough,” Ben said from behind her and she jumped a little in spite of herself. For someone so big he could move almost silently when he wanted to. He didn’t comment on it but the smirk on his face confirmed he’d seen her reaction. “Well, technically they’ll deliver to the end of the driveway, out at the mailbox. That’s the end of their delivery area, but most of the drivers are willing to take the three extra minutes to bring it here. The ones that aren’t leave it with Chewie or I go up and meet them.”

“Order out a lot, do you?”

He shrugged, dropping onto the opposite end of the sofa from Poe. “Cooking for one is boring and more trouble than it’s worth.”

_Cooking for one is boring._

That was…a little sad, actually. He was sixteen. He should be living in the main house and having family dinners prepared by actual adults, eating in what she assumed was an over the top formal dining room.

But no, he lived in the pool house, apparently since seventh grade, and Rey had never seen his parents or any staff other than the nearly seven foot tall security guard who apparently lived in the gate house (yes, the Solos had a gate house in addition to the pool house, and possibly a guest house as well, if the rumors were true—not that she’d been to his house often). His parents apparently rarely attended his games, competitions, or school functions, and they didn’t seem to keep tabs on him the way Cassian and Jyn did with Rey and Finn (and probably Armitage too, now), wanting to know where they were going, when they would be home, who they would be with, and occasionally saying no to some outings.

Bazine had told her once that he had an uncle who used to show up to things, tried to step into that role his parents weren’t fulfilling, but something had happened and they weren’t on speaking terms anymore. Rey wondered if it was the same uncle who was Sheriff or if he had more than one uncle.

She knew what it was like, fending for yourself. She shifted uncomfortably, the direction of her thoughts bringing up memories she’d rather keep buried.

It must be lonely.

She was feeling sympathy for the devil…she must be more shaken up than she realized.

After the disaster of the night at the river, Rey’s focus shifted to the holidays and family time. It was the second Christmas she and Finn had spent with Mum and Dad, but the first as the official Erso-Andor family (now with bonus-member, Armitage).

The benefit of Jyn having been hired to teach psychology at the local state university campus and Cassian teaching at Central meant the entire family had the same holiday break. They went ice skating, shopped at the local malls despite the ridiculous crowds (and the fact that it took nearly an hour just to get out of the parking lot), went to the cinema, and spent time working jigsaw puzzles and playing board games.

Armitage grumbled and rolled his eyes every time, yet he never missed a moment and on at least three different occasions he smiled.

Surprisingly enough, he and Finn bonded over the gaming system Finn got for Christmas. By the new year, Armitage had pronounced both Finn and Rey “tolerable” (high praise indeed).

Jyn and Cassian had managed to get Armitage registered for morning AP classes at the district's central campus and Poe had offered to drive him in the mornings. Finn and Rey rode to school with Cassian, and spent the extra almost-hour studying or catching up on homework. Well, Rey did. Finn wasn’t a bad student by any means, taking a few honors classes and maintaining a solid average, but he wasn’t quite as driven to maintain his GPA as Rey.

Still, it was mostly “business as usual” for the new semester.

There hadn’t been a homecoming dance at Chandrila High because of the _incident_ (and, more to the point, the failure of the homecoming committee to raise enough funds, but they were happy to pass on the blame). However, plans for the Junior/Senior prom were in full swing early in the semester, and Poe had been talking about it for months by the time the dance rolled around.

Poe had it all planned out so that everyone could go. He would take Rey (obviously). Bazine would bring Kaydel. Ben had agreed to bring Armitage as his guest (they had two of three AP classes together and Armitage had tried several times to convince Rey that 'Solo wasn’t so terrible'). Poe and Bazine had even managed to convince Jess Pava to bring Finn, since she and Snap were both juniors and could buy their own tickets.

There was a slight hitch when the school required names to “register” all underclassmen and anyone who was not a student at Chandrila High and _someone_ (it was never clear who) refused to allow Bazine to list Kaydel as her guest when she purchased her tickets. They refused to even sell Ben tickets when he listed Armitage as his plus one.

Rather than protest and risk having the whole event cancelled, they reorganized, Ben listing Kaydel as his date and Bazine naming Armitage on her second ticket. They would be able to separate into their preferred groupings once inside, but they would have to go to the dance together.

Not so terrible, they were a large group, she could avoid Solo for that long.

Then Poe announced they were all going to dinner together. Still, large group. It should be fine.

The final blow came when Ben’s mother, Senator Leia Organa-Solo, decided she wanted them _all_ to come over for pictures before the dance, and “why not just get ready there as well.”

Not knowing the entire story (Finn knew, but Rey hadn’t even told Poe why she hated Ben so much, or why she had hit him the day she found out he hadn’t spoken in Jyn’s defense, and by some miracle her parents didn't even know Rey had attacked Ben, much less why), everyone else was thrilled at the idea. Even her parents thought it was wonderful and generous. The other parents in the group had been invited for cocktails at the Solo home, so they wouldn’t “miss out on this milestone” and could get any additional photos they wanted. Leia also hired a professional photographer and offered to share the photos he took with each family, which had the other parents gushing.

The only person who seemed more upset about the entire situation than Rey was Ben, though probably not for the same reasons. He refused to smile for any of the pictures. He dragged his feet and complained every time his mother wanted “just a couple more.” He grumbled when his mother wanted pictures for each family. When—finally—the Senator called for one last group shot, Rey somehow ended up in between Ben and Poe, dead center in the picture.

When Ben still refused to smile, Senator Organa-Solo decided to make a point of it and insisted the photographer “just keep snapping away” until _everyone_ was smiling.

By that time Rey was starving and they were very close to missing their reservation (and a group as large as theirs wouldn’t be able to find alternate seating anywhere in town even if it weren’t prom night for half the schools in the county). She closed her eyes and took a slow breath before pasting on an overly sweet smile, clenching her teeth, and hissing out “Ben Solo, I swear on all that is holy, if you don’t smile in this photo so we can go eat, I will eviscerate you with a dull spoon.”

He didn’t smile.

He laughed.

It ended up being the best picture of the evening.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tragedy strikes Rey's junior year and nothing will ever be the same.
> 
> _The tears came again, even though Rey had been certain she didn’t have any tears left. She cleared her throat, tried again. “Ben? Ben you need to wake up. I have to talk to you.”_
> 
> _Movement again, as he shifted and rolled over into the faint pool of light coming in through the doorway. She saw his eyes flutter open, a sleepy smile quickly replaced by confusion as sleep slowly released its hold on him. “Rey?” He sat up. “What are you doing here?”_
> 
> _“Ben…Ben I need to talk to you,” she started, voice wobbly. “I…something happened. There was an accident.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rest of those tags? This chapter.
> 
> CHARACTER DEATH IN THIS CHAPTER
> 
> This is not a happy chapter, y'all. I made myself cry.

Between summer jobs and spending as much free time as possible at the local pool where both Kaydel and Poe were lifeguards, the months between the end of one school year and the beginning of the next passed in a blur.

If Rey had realized how precious the memories she was making were, she would have savored them, taken more photos, written more things down.

But she was sixteen and invincible and sure nothing bad would ever happen again.

August rolled in on a cloud of steam, even more miserably and oppressively humid than the previous year, if that were possible. The very air seemed sticky, making things like soccer practice and cross country feel more like punishment than activities she actually wanted to participate in. When her dad casually mentioned that the head football coach was looking to recruit a new kicker, her interest had been piqued. Was he suggesting…?

“Dad, are you suggesting I should try out?”

“It would certainly be interesting, no?”

She snorted. “That’s one word for it.”

She decided to humor him, thinking it would be amusing to see the reactions of the other coaches and players. She never expected to actually make the team, and when the local news got wind of it and decided they wanted to do a special interest story on her, she nearly quit altogether.

But it was certainly going to get attention on her college applications, and that was enough to sway her. Better still, she could still play soccer, although she _would_ have to give up cross country.

The look of utter shock on Ben Solo’s face the first Friday she stepped into their shared AP Literature class with her bright blue Central Coruscant Crows jersey on over her T-shirt was an added bonus. Armitage cackled with glee as he walked in behind her and saw the look on Solo’s face.

It was just a scrimmage game, and wouldn’t count towards any playoff standing, but Rey’s field goal that night gave Central enough of an edge to defeat the Chandrila Lions. She counted it as a personal victory.

It was the start of a good season.

Even though she didn’t really have time for any additional activities, Rey joined the debate team at Central, hoping for the chance to go up against Solo and obliterate him at some point. They certainly got enough practice in AP Lit, always willing to argue against the other, regardless of whether they actually agreed in reality. More than once the teacher had cut them off with a resigned sigh, ending discussion and moving back into straight lecture.

Weeks flew by, and Rey began looking for ways to actively antagonize Ben rather than just outright ignore him. She told herself it was his own fault, that he had started it, and maybe he had, but some part of her just enjoyed the knowledge that she could get under his skin.

She didn’t see Poe as much as she had the previous year, what with being on opposing football teams, even though he only lived a block away from her family, but they talked frequently, and got together every weekend for at least a few hours, even if just to study in the family room while Finn and Armitage played video games and Poe pretended not to be paying more attention to the TV screen than his homework or Rey.

By October it was clear both teams were going to be heading into the playoffs and Solo upped his game when it came to needling Rey. The day he started calling her Scavenger because her school mascot was the crow, she faked a yawn then told him he was unoriginal and that she expected better of him. “Put in a little effort, Solo,” she said, turning her attention to her notes again. He did, and the two ended up in an ongoing insult war, often lapsing into other languages in their efforts to outdo one another, much to Armitage’s annoyance.

Then suddenly one day it was November.

The cold snap signaling winter was truly on the way came early that year, a deep freeze in the middle of November rather than late January leaving ice hanging on trees and lurking along the curves of every backroad in the county, where the asphalt was shaded by trees all day so the weak sunlight couldn’t melt it away. As the temperature dropped, what little had melted refroze, the resulting black ice making any driving treacherous.

But it was the state playoffs and Football was KING.

Central Coruscant had been eliminated the previous week, after a respectable battle against Mandalore, but the team from Chandrila High was in the running to take state. They trounced their opponents, even with three of their star players—including Ben Solo—home sick with strep.

Rey waited with Kaydel for Bazine and Poe to change, expecting to tell Baz goodnight and go home, but _they_ had other plans. High off their win, the students of Chandrila wanted to go to the river and celebrate.

Rey had a bad feeling about it. The turn in the weather, inexperienced drivers, and alcohol (not to mention whatever else would inevitably be shared) promised to be a disastrous mix. With help from Finn and Armitage, she managed to convince Poe that he should take her home, maybe stay for a film or something. Kaydel was on board, but Bazine would not be swayed.

She and Kaydel argued, and Bazine stormed off and ended up in a car with Chandrila’s kicker, Matt. They led the line of student vehicles, moving far more quickly than was safe even in optimal conditions.

Poe and Armitage shared a look before Armitage and Finn climbed into the battered but reliable Blazer that belonged to the Erso-Andor family, Poe leading Rey and Kaydel (who was panicky and clinging to Rey’s arm) to his truck. Rey squeezed into one of the two tiny, sideways folding seats in the back of Poe’s truck, letting Kaydel have the passenger seat and reaching around the headrest to give her hand a reassuring squeeze as Poe followed, more quickly than Rey liked but at a much safer pace than anyone else. Unfortunately, that meant they were soon left behind.

Rey saw tire tracks in the grass in at least three places where someone had run off the road before they even got to the main two-lane state highway that was also the main road through town.

“Rey, do you have your phone?” Poe’s words were clipped from tension.

“I…yes, I think so,” she said, digging into her pockets for the device. Her parents had gotten them for Rey, Finn, and Armitage in case of emergencies. Rey agreed that this constituted an emergency.

“Call the Sheriff’s office, no, 911, report reckless driving on the ice and tell them about the party.” His hands clenched on the steering wheel as they passed a car sitting on the side of the road, three kids she vaguely recognized standing beside it.

“Don’t stop, don’t stop, they’re fine!” Kaydel yelled as Poe slowed.

“I’m not stopping, Kaydel, but I have to slow down for the turn.”

Rey got through to the emergency dispatcher. The woman seemed to believe her, maybe sensing the urgency in Rey’s voice, or simply overhearing Kaydel as she yelped and whimpered at every curve, every glow of headlights coming the other way.

Rey called her parents immediately after. They weren’t home yet from date night, having taken advantage of the fact that Central had no game and that their children would be at the game at Chandrila for some “couple time.” Rey left a garbled message, ending on a yelp and a scream from Kaydel as they crossed the bridge to the river access.

Lights. There were lights shining up at the bridge.

Headlights.

There was a car in the water.

Matt’s car.

And Bazine was still inside.

Kaydel was out of the truck before Poe threw it in park, setting the emergency brake before he was out too, stripping off his shoes and jacket and tossing them to the ground as he ran behind Kaydel.

The two of them cut through the water, fighting against the current and the cold for every stroke. Kaydel didn't freeze up this time, not when she was focused on Baz and had jumped in on purpose. As Rey managed to finally free herself from the truck, someone barreled past her, familiar black trench coat billowing behind him as he shouted into his phone. Armitage, doing the best he could to get a signal.

She could hear the sirens in the distance as Poe and Kaydel dragged Bazine out of the water and started CPR. Kaydel was sobbing, begging, as she pressed down on her girlfriend’s chest, training driving her actions even in her terror.

“Please, baby, _please_! _Breathe!_ Please just fucking _breathe_ for me!”

Rey stepped aside when the first responders arrived, watched numbly as they took over for Poe and Kaydel.

More vehicles arrived, the night flashing in swirls of red and blue as various uniforms swept past. Armitage and Finn were on either side of her and she hadn’t even realized they were there. The three of them huddled together, eyes locked on the scene before them as Poe and Kaydel were wrapped in silvery emergency rescue blankets and herded to a waiting ambulance, Kaydel resisting every step of the way.

The paramedics had cut Bazine’s cheer uniform off, shocked her with the paddles on one of their machines, probably more times than they should have.

Bazine never breathed, never regained consciousness.

She was gone.

Rey could hear Kaydel screaming as the ambulance she was in pulled away, another following with Poe inside.

Rey sobbed, shook, screamed a little herself as Finn and Armitage supported her. When she’d cried herself out, when her voice was hoarse from screaming, she stood, numb, watching as the remaining onlookers were herded away by their parents or Sheriff’s deputies, letting out a broken cry as the stretcher was wheeled past, a person shaped lump under a white sheet. She stared blankly when Sheriff Skywalker approached them, saying they needed to get home. Finn and Armitage urged her to move, trying to take her to the family SUV. She froze, pulling free of them as the thought occurred to her.

“ _Ben!_ Someone has to tell him. He was home sick, he doesn’t know.”

“I’m sure his parents will handle that,” the Sheriff said.

“I think we both know better,” she snapped, glaring at the man. Ben’s own _uncle._ How could these people not see how precious it was to have a family?

He stared at her, a hard look, before giving a tight nod. “Go straight there, no stops. Take it slow and watch the curve in the drive past the gate house,” he said gruffly.

Rey returned his nod before stalking to their vehicle, Finn and Armitage following behind her.

The entire Solo property was dark when they arrived, one lone light shining down next to the pool house, glinting off the dark green of Ben’s Jeep. In some silent agreement, Finn and Armitage waited in the car.

She knocked first, before testing the door—locked—and then groping for the spare key Bazine had shown her once. Her breath came in a ragged sob as she remembered the grin on her friend’s face, how she’d gleefully laughed and told Rey it would annoy Ben that she knew now.

_Baz._

Shaking her head, she squared her shoulders and unlocked the glass paneled French doors, tugging the handle down. It swung in silently and she stepped through, groping at the wall where she thought she remembered a light switch. Her searching fingers found it and she blinked a few times at the sudden flood of brightness.

“Ben?” she called, impressed with how evenly her voice came out. “Are you awake?” She knocked on his bedroom door, calling out again. Hand on the doorknob, she hesitated, calling out again as her heart pounded, fighting the building panicked sensation that something was about to _change_ again, forever _._

Grief. That was what it was. Shock and grief. It _had_ to be.

She opened the door with a soft click and stepped into the room, calling his name again. There was movement, a rustle of fabric from the bed, but he didn’t wake. She stepped closer, stopping about three feet short of the bed. She could just make out a photo frame on the nightstand, tilted as if he wanted it to be the first thing he saw upon waking and the last before he went to sleep. The group shot from prom night, the one where he’d laughed when she’d threatened him, Bazine gazing up at him with an adoring smile on his right and Kaydel pressed close on Bazine’s other side.

The tears came again, even though Rey had been certain she didn’t have any tears left. She cleared her throat, tried again. “Ben? Ben you need to wake up. I have to talk to you.”

Movement again, as he shifted and rolled over into the faint pool of light coming in through the doorway. She saw his eyes flutter open, a sleepy smile quickly replaced by confusion as sleep slowly released its hold on him. “Rey?” He sat up. “What are you doing here?”

“Ben…Ben I need to talk to you,” she started, voice wobbly. “I…something happened. There was an accident.”

“Are you crying? What happened? Are you okay?” He groped at the nightstand, switching on a small lamp and blinking at the yellow glow. “Did someone hurt you?”

“I…no, it’s not me. I’m fine.” A fresh flood of tears started and he stood up, just suddenly in front of her.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” His hands came up, resting gently on her upper arms as a wary look came over him. “Rey?”

“Oh, God, Ben, I’m so sorry,” she choked out in a rush. “There was an accident, at the river. A car…a car went off the road, into the water.”

“What are you saying?”

“It…Matt’s car…Bazine was in Matt’s car and he hit some ice, went into the river. He got out but Baz…she didn’t make it, Ben. She’s gone.”

His grip tightened, face hardening. “No, you’re lying.”

She sobbed again. “I wish I was.”

He turned away, hands running over his face, through his hair. “She can’t…she can’t be. It’s not true!” He was panting for breath, body trembling when he collapsed to his knees, letting out a primal scream of pain. She didn’t even think about it as she moved, instinctively reaching out to him. Ben let out a broken sob, turning and wrapping his arms around Rey’s waist as he cried against her, tears soaking her shirt as one of her hands ran through his hair and came to rest on the back of his head, the other gripping his shoulder and her own tears running freely, dripping onto the top of his head.

She didn’t know how long they stayed like that, but when he pulled away it was with a sudden, jerky movement, and he lurched to his feet, eyes wild. She heard retching as he stumbled into the bathroom, then another yell and the crash of glass, followed by a crunching sound. There was more crashing as things hit the floor. He was in a rage as he stumbled and weaved, storming past her and into the main room, where the crashing continued as Ben threw every object he could lift, punched the ones he couldn’t. The wooden slats of the closet door splintered, the door itself hanging precariously in the frame. A fist sized hole was left in the dry wall beside the closet.

Armitage and Finn were in the doorway, eyes wide as they stared at Rey, assuring themselves she was unharmed. The three just stood silently, watching as Ben raged, destroying his home in his grief.

When he stumbled, spent from his exertions and falling to his knees again, Rey stepped forward. She ignored Finn and Armitage as they tried to call her back, to warn her off. Ben just stayed where he was, staring blankly at the blood dripping down his hands, pooling on the floor. He jerked when she grasped his wrist lightly, urging him up. “Come on, let’s clean you up.” He let her lead him to the kitchenette, wash off the worst of the blood. “Well, it’s not so bad as it appeared. You probably don’t need stitches but I’m no doctor.” She glanced up. “Finn, I think there’s a first aid kit in the closet. Would you see if you can find it please?” She herded Ben to the small, square table that barely fit four chairs.

Rey was just finishing with the worst of the cuts when her parents arrived, pouring in through the doors in a flustered panic. Sheriff Skywalker was behind them, looking harried and chastened. Rey suspected that was Mum’s doing.

The three adults took in the destruction around them in wide-eyed silence. Rey glanced up, then stepped over to the sink, dropping the various bits of gauze and packaging in the nearby bin before scrubbing her hands. She ignored them a moment longer, retrieving a bottle of water from the refrigerator and removing the cap before placing it in front of Ben. “Drink it,” she ordered, glaring over his shoulder at Sheriff Skywalker as Ben obeyed, draining half the bottle before even pausing for air. He still had that distant, panicked look in his eyes, as if he were fighting with all he had left to keep from breaking again, and it was a battle he was losing.

It was amusing, in a strange, distant way, watching Mum tear into Sheriff Skywalker when he insisted that Ben would be fine there alone. “He’s seventeen, he can take care of himself.”

“Exactly,” Jyn hissed. “He. Is. Seventeen. Years. Old. He just suffered a traumatic loss. He shouldn’t be alone right now.”

The sheriff eyed the destruction around them before giving her parents a pointed look. “He certainly shouldn’t be around other people right now.”

Jyn Erso-Andor lost any semblance of cool, her voice unnaturally low and dangerous as she used every foul word she knew (and she knew a lot of them, far more than Rey) to explain in detail why Sheriff Skywalker was wrong.

Somehow in the end the sheriff apologized and Jyn sent Ben to pack a bag, insisting he was coming home with them until his parents could be contacted and make any necessary arrangements to get home. No one argued.

A muffled, broken sob got Rey’s attention and she padded silently to Ben’s bedroom doorway while her parents were distracted with cleaning up some of the mess, mainly just needing to _do_ something. She found him frozen in place near the foot of the bed, a shirt hanging limply in his hand and the other fist shoved against his mouth in an attempt to stay quiet as he stared at one of several framed photos along the wall by his bed. It was a simple black frame, with a full color image of Bazine and Kaydel on a picnic blanket making silly faces. Rey was fairly certain it had been taken in the yard here, probably by Ben. She whispered his name, placed one hand gently in the middle of his back.

He jerked in surprise, gasping for air.

“Do you need help?”

He stared at her, unable to answer. “Sit down,” she said softly, pulling his arm and pressing against his back until he moved, nearly collapsing on the foot of the bed, folding in on himself. She stepped back to the doorway, getting Armitage’s attention. He stepped into the room, saw the empty gym bag, the shirt still clutched in Ben’s hand, and seemed to understand. Ben was still shirtless, dressed only in the black sweatpants he’d worn to bed. Rey stepped back into the main room, dimly aware of drawers opening and closing, the rattle of hangers in the closet.

Armitage poked his head out. “Rey? Can you grab his shoes, there by the door?” She nodded, grabbing the first pair on the rack and taking them back to Armitage. Ben was still on the foot of the bed, staring blankly at the floor, but he was dressed now, still in the sweats but with the addition of a clean t-shirt, socks, and a quilted Carhartt jacket. His gym bag was full now, zipped up and waiting beside him.

Finn appeared in the doorway, knocking lightly on the frame to announce himself. “Mum and Dad are warming the cars now. Are you ready to go?”

Rey looked at Ben. He glanced up, gave a single nod, and stood. Armitage grabbed the bag and then he and Rey stepped to either side of the taller boy, steadying him as he took a few, shaky steps before pausing to draw a ragged breath. “Ah, medicine, antibiotics, I have another day’s worth,” he said softly.

“Okay, where?” she asked.

“Kitchen.”

Finn disappeared from the doorway. “Got it,” he called out, and Rey heard the rattle of the remaining pills against the plastic bottle as Finn picked it up.

At the door, Rey paused, glancing up at Ben. “Keys?” He fumbled at his jacket pocket, handing them over so she could lock the door. She handed them back and turned, intending to ride home with Mum, but she felt a tug at her own jacket sleeve.

“Please?” Ben said, hand dropping from her elbow. “I can’t…I don’t…please don’t leave me, not yet.” She nodded and Finn peeled off to ride with their mother instead. Ben settled in the back seat of the Blazer, fastening his seatbelt automatically and staring straight ahead as Rey walked around to climb in on the other side. Her father closed his door and glanced at each teen in turn, checking to make sure they were ready with safety belts securely fastened. It was a hard and fast rule in the Erso-Andor family that the car did not move until everyone had strapped in.

As they neared the end of the Solo family’s long driveway, Rey felt something brush against her hand where it rested on the seat. She glanced down, found Ben’s hand beside hers and she looked up to find him watching her, a silent plea. She nodded lightly, and he shifted a bit, his little finger resting over hers. That was all, just one finger barely touching hers, but when she didn’t move away, some tension seemed to seep out of him. Ben heaved a sigh and let his head fall against the window, staring blankly into the darkness.

Armitage slept in the family room, giving his bedroom to Ben without anyone having to ask. Rey was proud of him, and also surprised to realize just how much Armitage seemed to care about Ben Solo. She had known they were _friendly_ , but she hadn’t really let herself understand that they were _friends_. Not until now.

Jyn and Cassian doted on them all, making favorite dishes and going the extra mile to make Ben feel cared for. He jumped a little every time Jyn patted him on the shoulder as she walked past, or Cassian placed a hand on his back or upper arm. Rey recognized the reaction from her own experience when Mum had adopted her. Apparently, his parents weren’t big on casually affectionate touching…when they were even around.

He seemed confused and uncomfortable when they asked how he was feeling, as if he wasn’t used to anyone caring.

She found herself growing angry at his parents, and letting go of the last of her grudge against him.

Ben’s parents arrived in town late Sunday evening, stopping by to collect him on their way home. Rey had the feeling he didn’t want to go, but he didn’t complain as he followed his father to the luxury sedan in their drive, looking back once at the entire Erso-Andor family gathered in the doorway before he folded himself into the backseat.

Rey couldn’t help worrying about him, just a bit, but then after he was gone, she didn’t have anything to distract her from her own grief, the way looking out for him had. Her mother held her as she sobbed, and then she cried harder when she realized Ben Solo didn’t have anyone to do the same for him now that he had gone home.

He showed up to the funeral alone.

It was a disgustingly bright and sunny day for such an event, and even worse, for some reason Bazine’s parents had decided to bury her in her cheerleading uniform. The same one the paramedics had cut off of her. They'd had it repaired, and it looked new.

Bazine would have hated it. The weather, the uniform, the out of touch speeches. No one else had bothered to say so, but Ben did, something more than grief coloring his tone.

Rey squeezed Poe’s hand, glancing meaningfully at Ben, across the aisle alone in the wooden pew. Kaydel was on Rey’s other side, wedged between her and Armitage, with Finn, Jyn, and Cassian filling out their row. Poe managed to coax Ben to come across and join them. It was a tight fit, but it made Rey feel better. Ben too, if the more relaxed posture was any indication. Kaydel leaned across Rey, reaching for Ben. He held out his hand, letting her lace their fingers together and squeeze before they separated. Kaydel’s parents sat behind her, reaching forward to pat her shoulder or stroke her hair every few minutes as she sniffled quietly into a crumpled tissue.

Even with Poe between them, Rey could smell the liquor on Ben’s breath. He rolled his eyes several times during the brief service, muttering under his breath at some of the ridiculous things being said about Bazine. At one point, Rey reached around Poe and pinched Ben’s shoulder, glaring when she got his attention. He didn’t make another sound after that.

At the close of the service, Rey whispered furiously at Poe, urging him to take Ben’s keys as they followed him to the parking lot. Ben was belligerent, insisting he was fine and refusing to give them up. Rey stepped closer then, furious. “Give them to me, Ben,” she demanded, holding out her hand.

“NO!”

“Give. Me. Your. Keys,” she hissed, moving a step closer with every word until they were nearly touching. He stared down at her a moment, jaw ticking, before he turned his head, closing his eyes as he dropped them into her hand. She stomped over and opened the passenger door of his Jeep. “Get. In.” He seemed to consider arguing for a moment, before slumping in defeat and doing as she said. Rey stood there a moment, staring at him as she held the door open. “Don’t _fucking_ move from that seat, Solo. I’ll be right back.” She slammed the door shut and turned, finding Poe studying her carefully. “What?”

Poe just shook his head and walked with her as she crossed the pavement to where her parents waited. Without preamble, Cassian said “That boy’s been drinking.”

Rey nodded. “That’s why I need to get him home safely,” she said, adding softly, “For Baz.” She expected her parents to argue, but maybe because they’d been less than impressed with his parents and uncle, or maybe simply because they knew Rey wasn’t going to budge on this, they shared a long look before Jyn nodded.

“Be careful, _mija,_ ” her father said as he hugged her. Rey felt like he wasn’t referring to her driving.

She turned Jyn for and hugged her mother as well“I’m proud of you, my darling,” Mum whispered before kissing Rey’s cheek.

Rey turned to find Poe speaking softly with Armitage, Kaydel, and Finn. He straightened as she approached. “Will you be okay alone with him for a little while?” Poe asked. “Kaydel wants to go change clothes, and _Hugs_ and Finn want to go home and get the Blazer, but none of us think Solo should be alone right now.” Rey nodded, swiping angrily at the fresh prick of tears, relieved that Poe just _got it._

Poe hugged her close and dropped a quick kiss on her lips before leading Kaydel to his truck.

“We’ll bring you a change of clothes, and pick up some food,” Finn said as he hugged her as well.

Armitage studied her for a moment before leaning in for his own light hug. “Take care of him, Rey,” he whispered, and as with her dad, his words seemed to somehow mean more than he actually said.

She walked slowly back to the corner of the lot where the Jeep was parked. Ben had his head back, eyes closed, but he turned and looked at her blearily as she opened the driver’s door and climbed in, fussing with the seat until she could actually reach the pedals.

“It sticks sometimes, going into third,” he muttered. “Baz fucked the transmission, when I taught her to drive stick. It’s never been quite right since.” Ben pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes and cursed under his breath.

He didn’t say anything else until they were almost at his house, when Rey glanced over before focusing her attention back on the road and asked, “Are your parents even home?”

“No.” He sighed, leaning wearily against the window.

“How long have you been drinking?”

“I’m guessing you aren’t asking how old I was when I had my first beer.”

“No.”

He sighed again, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “Sunday night. When I got home.”

Rey nodded once, biting her tongue against all the things she _wanted_ to say, willing herself to calm down before settling on, “She’d be in a right strop over this, you know? She hated drinking.”

His lips twitched. “A right strop?”

“Yes, that’s what I said.”

Ben reached over and pressed a button on his keychain as they neared the main gate to the Solo property. The gate swung smoothly open and Rey guided the Jeep carefully down the long drive, wary of icy patches still lingering in the shade. She parked smoothly in his usual spot, and they sat in the vehicle for a moment, staring at the pond beyond the pool house, late afternoon sun glinting off the water.

“Rey?” She turned to find him watching her, something serious in his gaze. “Why?”

She thought about pretending not to understand, not to know what he was really asking, but she couldn’t. “Because I can’t handle losing anyone else.”

“You don’t even like me.”

“Not all the time, no. But…I’ve become accustomed to having you around.” He turned away then, lost in his thoughts. She shivered as the residual heat started seeping out of the Jeep, the soft top not providing much insulation. “Shall we?” He nodded and she opened the door and stepped out, holding out his keys as he rounded the vehicle so he could unlock the door.

They sat in companionable silence as they waited for the others to arrive, lost in their own thoughts but not wanting to be _alone_. Most of the mess had been cleared, the only remaining evidence of his grief-stricken rage the broken closet door and hole in the drywall. Even the shattered television had been cleared out, replaced by a newer but slightly smaller set.

“Did you clear up?”

He shook his head. “No. Mom brought in a cleaning crew.”

She nodded. It made sense in that respect. Clean up the mess, make it look fine again…never bothering with the actual problem, never fixing the thing that was actually broken.

They were on the sofa, a polite distance between them but still the closest she had ever willingly been before the accident. She felt his eyes on her again and turned, and the look on his face…she’d never seen that expression before, but something about it made her entire body snap to awareness. “Rey,” he breathed her name, more sigh than word.

She saw him leaning in, saw that tilt of his head, and heaven help her she _wanted_ it. His lips were soft on hers, and she tasted tears, though she couldn’t be sure if they were hers or his. When she leaned in, returning his kiss, something seemed to snap inside him and his hands were on her, pulling her close as he deepened the connection. Her hands found their way into his hair. The sound of a car door slamming outside had her throwing herself back with a yelp, one hand flying up over her mouth as Finn opened the door, calling out a greeting and tossing her a small duffle with her change of clothes. She hugged it to her chest, grateful for the excuse to leave the room, and hoped it didn’t look too much like she was fleeing.

Rey wasn’t sure when he started drinking again that night. Maybe while she was changing. Regardless, she almost didn’t realize until he passed out, so lost in her own thoughts. She and Armitage took turns sitting up with him, checking his breathing, making sure he didn’t vomit in his sleep and suffocate, while Finn, Poe, and Kaydel slept in the other room.

In the morning, when he woke with a massive hangover (or still intoxicated, she couldn’t be certain), Rey handed him water and some painkillers, lectured him on his choices, and told him she refused to watch him destroy himself.

He never returned to school, his mother pulling some strings so he could complete his senior year via “independent study.”

He sent her a letter—an actual letter, in the mail, on real paper—apologizing and thanking her for trying to look out for him. She crumpled it into a ball, envelope and all, and tossed it in the bin, before fishing it out, straightening it as best she could, and tucking it into the back of her copy of _The Awakening._

Poe and Armitage updated her on him sometimes. He started partying again, hard, and acting out in his grief and rage. There were rumors that he lost his acceptance to the university of his choice. And his scholarship. But in the fall, he did start classes at the same campus as Poe and Armitage, and he was on the football team, so the rumors were probably just that.

Poe had broken up with her in February, three days before their Valentine’s date.

She was less upset than she thought she should be, and Poe cited that as additional evidence that they probably shouldn’t try to stay together when he went to college in the fall.

Some part of her knew he was right. They were friends, but that spark, that connection as a couple just wasn’t there. She didn’t let herself think on that too hard. She certainly didn’t let herself compare the sweet kisses she and Poe had shared to one that tasted of mourning and desperation and regret.

And she didn’t let herself think about Ben Solo at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I...yeah...just...I'm sorry.

**Author's Note:**

> [Field Goal Series Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5QBpSHlGLMjmrIPtGizcHc?si=mF88uGWPRf-HeIO02Ff2Aw)
> 
> The first 10 tracks are specifically intended for the High School Years in Scrimmage. Remaining Tracks will apply to College and After and may be spoilery. This story and series are VERY heavily music inspired.


End file.
